Is a loved one struggling to hold onto the reins of life? Are you or your family sick as a dead horse? Don't worry, we're here to help with all your troubles! Our trained team of medical professionals is ready to pounce on the problem -- just give us the call when you need help at +1 (248) 434-5508!
Patients We've Helped
Joe Carter was driving down the road intoxicated after a visit to the bar to get a few beers at the age of 26. When his truck went barreling down a cliff, his mom in the back seat called us! Joe Carter managed to survive and is currently being held at one of our many illustrous hospitals and is undergoing physical rehabilitation.
Samuel Duggerson, a second grader, was enjoying their time at recess when they slipped and fell from the tall metal monkey bars! They suffered extreme breakage in their left arm, and we came to their aid. Ever since then, Samuel has been recovering and is now able to use their left arm again. Good thing they were right-handed!
Grian Gringle was enjoying their scrumptuous tea when they fell out of their chair and spilled all the hot liquid on themselves. They suffered several first-degree burns and one minor second-degree burn, but worry not, we were called and arrived in a jiffy to deliver them over to our urgent care!
Xtrau X was an oddball patient to deal with; they had suffered blunt force head trauma from falling out of their elusive flying void ship! While it took a while to activate the R-Gate and go help, we eventually rescued Xtrau and took them into hospitality! Ever since the accident they've been acting a bit weird, but it's alright; at least they're all good and well.
Shoh Muthure had their back accidentally broken while her son was handling metal materials; unfortunately, she didn't survive for very long, but during her last moments we were right by her side, urging her with medications and surgeries to hopefully wake up. Forever will Shoh live in the hearts of those who she positively influenced.
Patrick Ledger, formerly known as Xx_gamerman211_xX, had been suffering from the catastrophic scourge known as TokTik that has been plaguing Generation Alpha for what seems like an interminable amount of time. When their mother got fed up over the disease, Patrick was taken to a mental rehabilitation center of ours to eventually be cured; now, he lives at home, completely cured and with his father, who finally came back with the milk!
Joe "Skip It" E. Toilen Was A Very Sus Person Who Really Rizzed Up All The Imaginary Besties. We No Cap Dabbed On Their Dank Gyatt Skibidi Toilet Among Us Real Gone Wrong Cops Called Grandma Involved Sigma Male Ratio Rizz Sheesh Yeet Zest Your Simp Period Slay Boomer NPC So Lit It's Giving Hits Different Drip Vibes For Real For Real. Joe died a painful death two weeks later.
Jerry von Jenson came to one of our locations on May of 2039 with a severe lung infection. The treatment would have costed thousands of dollars without our help; luckily, it only costed million millions at the here! He was able to do the thing at now so he could go to the home and live. How did he? And we help.! Yes, are not true to self, they are coming, they are coming, they are!! Come! Not so happy!...!?! Chestnut
They are coming for me. I need to run. He died. He's . I'm No way! Dillon Triton was crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with g̵̡̛̟̯͓̗͕̙̤̘͕̮̊̋̉̐̀̔͗̃̐k̴͎̈́́̃̈́̒̾͐̒́̍̂̾̋̕͘͘ý̸̧̬͓͔̎̽̊͜͠g̷̜͉̣͇̺̒͂̊̔͛b̷͇̃̿̓̉̽Q̴̨̣͚͍̫̙͈̞̗̿̓̓̉͗̕͝o̴̗̙͐̒̓̍̍̐̊̇̆̐͆̾̕͝͠2̷̡̟̦̼͇̦̑̈́̃̄̂͊̒̋9̶̣̹͖̯͙̤̜́̽̀͒̔U̶̓̔̐͗̉̽̿͆̋̌̇̕͝ͅO̶̙̽͊̔̔́̓̈̏̅̓͑͊͝͝͠0̴̨͔̱͔̝̙̤̟͚̱͂̑͐̑́̈͗̀̄4̷̨̩̹̻̫̼̗̂̇́͆͑̆͒͐͝y̶̻̦̬̬̓̾R̸̹̣̹͎̍w̷̧̛͍̣̙̰̤͖̗͖͋̂͒̓͌̀̈́͜͜help.
The company was founded in 1492 by Cystopher Columbus after spotting an odd lump on the back of his neck.
While this lump was originally believed to be a benign cyst, further investigation proved far worse; the lump was determined to be a case of melanoma.
Unfortunately, the medical advances of the time were not enough to save Cystopher. Just two months before his hospitalization, he formed a medical institute named after a glacial valley he once saw in Portugal.
He allegedly gave the name of the valley to his son while on his deathbed, but little evidence supports this fact, and the name has been lost to time.
Before his death, Cystopher raised $76,000 USD adjusted for inflation. Since then, the company has grown into what it is today.
Health Insurance Policy
As of September 12, 2009, we've had health and life insurance policies to help with those who are hurt and/or dying. Our top-notch health insurance agency will cover anywhere from 1% to 5% of the costs depending on which plan is chosen and the severity of the ailment. Choose which one is right for you!
Basic Plan: Starting at $599/mo per person, coverage starts at 1%
Unnecessarily More Expensive Plan: Starting at $699/mo per person, coverage starts at 1.0001%
Better Plan: Starting at $1,999/mo per person, coverage starts at 3%
Best Plan: Starting at $2,999/mo per person, coverage starts at 4.999%
Bester Plan: Starting at $999,999/mo per person, coverage starts at 5%
CHOSEN BESTER PLAN Price: $999,999/mo**
**Billed daily
Thanks for purchasing!
Monthly Total: $999,999,999
CALL+1(248)434-5508NOW
Job Applications
Job applications are now open! Here are some open opportunities:
EMT (18/872 open spots)
Nurse (9/741 open spots)
Surgeon (23/563 open spots)
Anaesthesiologist (17/617 open spots)
Biological Abnormality Manager (380/382 open spots)
